L: Joner hates shaving.
JB: Me too.
L: He just cut himself again.
JB: Did he use a new blade?
L: It doesn't matter. Old blades cut, new blades cut.
JB: Maybe you should buy him an electric shaver.
L: They make a lot of noise, but they don't give a close shave.
JB: Maybe he should stop shaving.
L: And grow a beard?
JB: Sure. Why not?
L: Because food and other stuff may stick in his beard.
JB: Hmm. Here's an idea. Put cream on his face and have a dog lick it off.
JB: Me too.
L: He just cut himself again.
JB: Did he use a new blade?
L: It doesn't matter. Old blades cut, new blades cut.
JB: Maybe you should buy him an electric shaver.
L: They make a lot of noise, but they don't give a close shave.
JB: Maybe he should stop shaving.
L: And grow a beard?
JB: Sure. Why not?
L: Because food and other stuff may stick in his beard.
JB: Hmm. Here's an idea. Put cream on his face and have a dog lick it off.
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JB: Excuse me.
L: Yes?
JB: Are you reading this paper?
L: Oh, no. Help yourself.
JB: I asked because the paper is sitting next to you.
L: Thank you. That's polite of you to ask.
JB: Some people would just pick it up.
L: Yes, I know. Some people are rude.
JB: I always try to be polite.
L: So do I.
JB: The world needs more polite people like us.
L: I agree 100 percent. May I have a question?
JB- Of course! Go ahead!
L- Are you trying to flirt with me?
JB- I thought you were doing that. Sorry.
L: Yes?
JB: Are you reading this paper?
L: Oh, no. Help yourself.
JB: I asked because the paper is sitting next to you.
L: Thank you. That's polite of you to ask.
JB: Some people would just pick it up.
L: Yes, I know. Some people are rude.
JB: I always try to be polite.
L: So do I.
JB: The world needs more polite people like us.
L: I agree 100 percent. May I have a question?
JB- Of course! Go ahead!
L- Are you trying to flirt with me?
JB- I thought you were doing that. Sorry.
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JB: Evelyn wants a puppy.
L: You already have Belinha, don't you? You better think about it.
JB: Why do we have to think about it?
L: Because a puppy costs money.
JB: No, it doesn't. Puppies are free.
L: Yes, but a puppy needs shots.
JB: Shots for what?
L: So it won't get sick. Just like you get shots.
JB: I hate shots.
L: And a puppy eats food. Food costs money.
JB: No problem. I'll give him food off my plate.
L: Oh, no you don't. Puppies don't eat vegetables.
L: You already have Belinha, don't you? You better think about it.
JB: Why do we have to think about it?
L: Because a puppy costs money.
JB: No, it doesn't. Puppies are free.
L: Yes, but a puppy needs shots.
JB: Shots for what?
L: So it won't get sick. Just like you get shots.
JB: I hate shots.
L: And a puppy eats food. Food costs money.
JB: No problem. I'll give him food off my plate.
L: Oh, no you don't. Puppies don't eat vegetables.
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L: Look at all these kittens!
JB: How many are there?
L: Eight.
JB: They're all so cute.
L: Yes, but I can't keep them.
JB: What are you going to do with them?
L: I'm going to give them away. Do you want one?
JB: Yes, I would love one but I must talk to my wife before taking it.
L: Which one do you want?
JB: That one. The one that's all black.
L: Yes, I like that one, too.
JB: I'll call him Timão.
JB: How many are there?
L: Eight.
JB: They're all so cute.
L: Yes, but I can't keep them.
JB: What are you going to do with them?
L: I'm going to give them away. Do you want one?
JB: Yes, I would love one but I must talk to my wife before taking it.
L: Which one do you want?
JB: That one. The one that's all black.
L: Yes, I like that one, too.
JB: I'll call him Timão.
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L: My friend's parents go to church every Sunday.
JB: They trust in God, don't they?
L: They hope they will go to heaven.
JB: They probably will.
L: But no one knows for sure.
JB: That's for sure.
L: No one knows what happens after we die.
JB: I heard that If we are good, we will be happy in heaven with God.
L: That's what many people believe.
JB: If we are bad, we will be unhappy forever in hell.
L: I don't want to go to hell.
JB: Let's go to church with them on Sunday.
JB: They trust in God, don't they?
L: They hope they will go to heaven.
JB: They probably will.
L: But no one knows for sure.
JB: That's for sure.
L: No one knows what happens after we die.
JB: I heard that If we are good, we will be happy in heaven with God.
L: That's what many people believe.
JB: If we are bad, we will be unhappy forever in hell.
L: I don't want to go to hell.
JB: Let's go to church with them on Sunday.
.............................................................
L: My boss died.
JB: I'm sorry for you. L: Thank you. JB: When did he die? L: A couple of months ago. JB: You still miss him, don't you? L: Yes, but I talk to him almost every day. JB: I got it. When you go to church, right? L: No, when I call him on his cell phone. JB: What do you mean? L: I buried him with his cell phone. JB: What will you do when the battery dies?
......................................................
JB: Today is Friday the thirteenth.
L: That's a bad day. JB: It's supposed to be unlucky. L: You're supposed to stay home all day. JB: That's what I do. L: My friend stayed in a hotel on Friday the thirteenth. JB: That was a mistake. L: He stayed on the thirteenth floor. JB: What happened? L: Someone stole his laptop. JB: He was asking for it. L: He learned his lesson. He's home today.
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JB: Do you really love me?
L: Of course. You are my best teacher. JB: Prove it. L: Prove that you are my best teacher? JB: No. Prove that you love me. L: Come on JB ! How can I prove it? JB: Take Eve and I to dinner on our wedding birthday. L: That's it? That's all I have to do? JB: Take us to a nice restaurant, not to McDonald's or Outback. L: But a nice restaurant costs money. JB: Yes, and you have to make a reservation. L: That's such a hassle. JB: I knew you didn't love me. L: Okay, okay! I'll make a reservation right now.
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